I’m writing on my deck this afternoon, working on a story that’s due in a week and a half. Correction. I’m sitting on my deck this afternoon and am getting ready to write the story that is due in a week and a half but am writing a blog entry instead.

A few years ago, I pretty much quit pitching stories or writing stories on assignment. Since my Dad died, I pretty much quit writing altogether. I’m back at it to some degree now – but I sure am struggling. I sure am having doubts. I sure am having a tough time opening the folder of notes for the story I pitched months ago and actually start working on it.

This slow to start a story situation is not completely out of character for me. I often lack motivation to stay on task and write the stories I have set out to write. I almost always feel more scared to get started writing than excited. I am usually finishing my stories the night before they are due. But getting started feels more difficult right now. I suppose I’m wrestling with the back-to-school blues made more challenging this year because my eldest is off at college. Yes, I miss her. Yes, I cry sometimes for no apparent reason then realize it’s because I miss her and also miss my son who back to school as well – he’s a sophomore in high school. It doesn’t help that the days are getting shorter. It doesn’t help that I feel like that I am simply too lazy to be a writer. It doesn’t help that the past two weeks have been a strange series of ups and downs.

It does help to be out on my deck now, though, in the fresh air instead of in my office. It does help that I’ve been getting out on walks and am going to an exercise class again. It does help that I have a deadline to get my story done. And it does help to write this, well, as long as I don’t write so long that I never get to my story.

Here’s a quote from Stephen King that I like. It’s from his book, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft: “The scariest moment is always just before you start.”

It’s time for me to finish this blog post and start writing.

Enjoy your day.